No-Sense Attitude
by blushifted
Summary: Nico sometimes wondered if there was even a brain up in her head; she was probably the smartest person she knew, but sometimes Nico could barely believe her absurdity.


After the first incident, Nico thought it a simple accident.

After the second one, she started becoming concerned for Maki's competency.

After the third, Nico knew she would have to take Adult Action over her wife's inability to get eggs at the _grocery store_.

No handwritten, clearly detailed, extremely specific, Word for Word list would solve her problems, because somehow Maki's thought process managed to sputter out "two dozen eggs" as meaning two dozen _cartons_ of eggs. Thank god she called her so that, presumptuously, Maki returned the rest of the cartons to their section, probably while shuffling past other customers and more embarrassed than she'd ever been in her life.

Yes, probably even more-so than the Coupon Incident. And even _that_ was engraved into her oldest daughter, Naoko's, mind as a formative memory. Of course, Nico could never forget the staggered "Oh. That makes more sense," reply after Nico rationally explained "Why the _hell_ would you buy twelve dozen egg cartons when we can just buy _two_ and have it last for two _weeks_?" And don't even get Nico _started_ on Maki's cooking ability. She wondered if it was possible to be charged on account of stupidity.

Judge, Jury, and other respectable members of the Court: do not hold the cute and lovable idol-housewife Nico on record for saying her wife is a dolt–even though that may or may not be the truth–and for calling into question her experience as a mother and wife as well (her maternal instincts, in particular, were practically nonexistent; the evidence speaks for itself), but do understand her cause for concern when _leaving_ her wife, whom she loved and cherished so dear, with her firstborn daughter, perhaps the only outstandingly normal person in the household, and her younger twins to take care of and look after when she could barely keep herself well-fed. Maki has been responsible for the death of many, _many_ Tamagotchis, and this experience did not translate well over to actual, living, breathing children. While she _had_ been left with the kids multiple times before, she'd never taken this much responsibility since the twins could _walk_ and _talk_ and, above all, _wrestle_.

(Nico would be lying if she said she didn't think that girlish scream had come from Tomomi–only to see Tomomi sitting on top of her brother's head, and Tooru flailing his arms wildly underneath her, screaming. To be fair, _now_ she knows.)

Now, in her purse, Nico kept comprehensive instructions on how to handle the twins during their Wrestle Hour, along with a list of what Tooru would and wouldn't eat–and what snacks Tomomi would try to sneak out from the pantry–just in case she ever needed to leave town again. Like this. Truth be told, Nico would have rather stayed in town. But she had responsibilities to her faithful, loyal fans who had stuck with her through two pregnancies and an almost two-years dry spell without new songs. Sure, she may have done a few more mellow-toned shows over the years, but those weren't really the energetic, optimistic, smiling songs her fans were probably used to–though they certainly seemed to like her deconstructed album some years back. The words "Featuring her school idol hit single, _Zurui Yo Magnetic Today!_ " still stuck in her mind from the commercial she had to watch over and over again.

Well, Nico _wanted_ to go on stage and dance _anyways_ while she was six months pregnant with Naoko, but her doctor "didn't recommend it." Whatever. She ended up taking knitting as a hobby, so it wasn't all for naught. She added to their collection of bad holiday sweaters, dubbed "Jewmas" by herself as an extensive conglomeration of the best things about Christmas and Chanukah. (Namely, the tree and everything else.)

Maki just didn't appreciate her brilliant humor.

Regardless, back on task. She'd _better_ appreciate Nico taking the time to write all of these notes for her–well, what were once sticky notes were more turned into a torn page from a notebook covered in pen front to back. They were still practically autographs on pink decorative paper, and many people would _kill_ for one of those. She read over the note in question one last time, checking to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything (most likely, the information would be forgotten on Maki's end anyways) before she stepped out of her car in the hospital parking lot.

Since she had to leave in the early morning, and Maki's hospital hours were invariably conditional, Nico figured she might as well drop the note off at her office, run home and say bye, and leave while the kids were asleep.

The receptionist, who played the "Huh? Who's there–oh, you're down _there_ ; I didn't see you over the desk" game with her far too many times to gain Nico's favor anymore, directed her to Maki's office and buzzed her through the "staff-only" area of the building. Nico felt special for the first few moments after stepping in, as she always did. Nico preferred not to come here as often as possible, mostly because her previous visits were unappreciated and usually resulted with her being kicked out and told to go home by Maki, but also because Maki's hospital was the biggest "No-Fun Zone" in the entire city. A few people who apparently recognized her (though Nico couldn't say the same) waved, and Nico enthusiastically waved back. Except to that one guy. Fukumoni or whatever.

As expected, Maki was not present in her office. She probably had patients to examine or surgeries to perform–or probably both. Reminiscent of the doctor herself, her office was an organized mess. Hell, she had papers _behind_ her computer. Nico had always been certain that, if she asked, Maki could pull out any paper from any stack. But to Nico, their contents were as much gibberish as Maki's indecipherable doctor handwriting. Not sure where exactly to put the note in an area where Maki would see it, Nico taped it over her computer screen.

Well, while she was here, she was sure Maki wouldn't mind if she took a little peek around her office. Since she had kicked her out too many times to count before she could get a really good look at it, now was as good a time as any.

On her bookshelf was an assortment of doctor "bibles," probably chock-full of doctor stuff Nico had no interest in. There was an anatomical figure of a brain sitting in front of the books; Nico thought it looked like a gross, old, wrinkly bean. Aside from textbooks and medical journals, papers covered her entire desk. Probably records, notes, patient files, whatever it was, Nico couldn't make heads or tails of them.

The majority of her office _was_ pretty bland, as expected of someone as boring as Maki. But she did have a few photos of Nico and the kids on her shelf, as well as some on her desk, surrounding her computer. All of them decorated by expensive silver frames.

Nico smiled to herself, rather dumbly, as she leaned over Maki's (Nico's favorite) swivel chair, looking at the pictures more closely. Nico held the twins while Naoko stood between her two mothers, hands folded neatly into her skirt. It was probably the only decent family picture they ever took.

Behind the frame lay a pile of papers of various sizes and colors; a majority of them were pink sticky notes either stuck to the table or stuck to the wall next to the desk. All of them were signed in her name: a Nico followed by a heart, and occasionally an appositive in the form of "Your lovable wife" or "The greatest idol ever." Nico hated how much her heart soared and how dumb she was smiling.

But she knew her dumb wife probably felt the same.


End file.
